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Petition ID 5337: Giant Tattoo Mutant
Submitted Mon, 16 Nov 20 22:49:11 +0000

After defeating the Giant Tattoo Mutant, I clicked the link to view the description, and got the description for the "Flock of Primordial Chickens" according to Global Banter (don't know who gave the monster name)

I neglected to save the URL for the monster. Sorry.

You were beside yourself when you first saw the tracks. Could it be? You've been dreaming of this since you were a child! Day after day you came back, looking for more signs. Then, today, you caught a break. A fresh kill, a clear trail, and an hour later you are finally face-to-face: sometimes the Drive makes dreams come true.

The T-Rex looms over you, the wind ruffling its feathers, a rope of saliva sliding off its lower lip. It sees you, crouches low and opens its mouth, baring two perfect arches of teeth the smallest of which is larger than your hand.

It takes in a breath.

"Mew!" it says.

"Um, what?" you reply.

"Mew!" it says again. Then it tilts its head to the side and, with a tremendous crash, rolls onto its back.

You regard it for a moment, utterly nonplussed.

"So," you say finally, "are we going to fight, or what?"

The mighty Tyrannosaurus paddles its forearms in the air and tries to lick a passing butterfly.

"Well, shucks," you tell it, petulantly kicking a primordial chicken in your frustration. "It's no fun if you're not gonna be scary."

Turning to walk away, you find yourself facing a wall of beady little eyes. Chickens. Primordial chickens with razor-sharp wattles and feet tipped with tapestry needles. The one you just kicked limps over to join its kin. Its kin do not look amused.

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