General Questions with Spoilers

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(Warning, the FAQs below might contain some spoilers, so if you really want to discover things on your own, you'd be better off not reading too far.This is not a manual. It's a self-help pamphlet.)

1. What are cigarettes for?
Cigarettes are magical sticks of wonderfulness. Stick a ciggy in your mouth and you'll immediately become cool.
Gullible? We sure hope not!
Lots of people are horribly addicted to nicotine and are willing to trade things for ciggies.Your local bartender is something of a tobacco connoisseur.

2. How do you get cigarettes?
To the tobacconists with you!
Actually, you can't buy them. Cigarettes can be found in the jungle during 'special events' that happen randomly - if you play often enough, you're bound to stumble across one at some point.Cigarettes can also be gained very occasionally from a jungle fight.

3. Why do some people seem to have so many hitpoints at a low level?
Cause they're bigger than you.
No, really, they *are* bigger than you. You'll be big too someday.

4. Does that have something to do with the titles that people have?
But of course!
Indeed, every time you kill the Drive, you return to level one.If you kill the Drive enough times, you get a new title.So low level players with titles have had opportunities to embiggen themselves. (see Hall of Fame)

5. What's a buff?
It's what we use to shine our shoes.
Did you think it was some sort of temporary or permanent effect which affects your stats in a positive or negative manner? Hah!

6. Why does that old man keep hitting me with an ugly/pretty stick in the jungle?
You look like a piñata!
It's a special event that can add or remove charm.

7. Well, what's the point of charm?
To get chicks (or guys).
Well, actually, that *is* the point.Visit some folks at the Pub, and you ought to be able to figure this one out.The more charm you have, the more successful you'll be at wooing said folks.

8. Okay, I saw the man in the jungle and he hit me with his ugly stick, but it says I'm uglier than the stick, and I made it lose a charm point. What's going on?
You're clearly the least charming person on the planet.And if you're the person who actually *asked* this question, you're also the dumbest.Use a little power of inference, wouldja?No. Really.
Okay, we did say you were the dumbest, so: it means you currently have zero charm points.

9. How do I check my charm?
Take a peek in the mirror once in a while.
We jest - there's no mirror.You'll have to ask a friend how you look today - the responses may be vague, but they'll give you a clue how you're doing.

10. Who is the Management?
Appleshiner, Foilwench and Catscradler are in charge of this FAQ, but if something goes wrong, blame MightyE or Kendaer.They're in charge of everything else.To get ahold of them, or one of their trusty helpers, use the Petition for Help link.

11. How did they get to be so darn attractive, anyway?
Lots of at-home facials, my dear!!MightyE especially enjoys the Grapefruit Essence Facial Masque.

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