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Word on the Streets

New moderators!
Admin CavemanJoe2014-07-22 03:32:54
Folks, please welcome Tinkerbinker, Carlynne, Mango and Escemfer to the moderation team!

That's right, four new mods all at once! That's because the Island is HUGE now. We've hand-picked these new moderators because they're all awesome. Also, we've got a new(ish) Moderation Policies page on the Wiki of Lies - because having more players means more mods is a good idea, and having more mods means that a moderation policy written down somewhere is a good idea, so that everything's consistent and awesome.

Have fun!

-CMJ


News since the last new Game Day (Items 1 - 50 of 63)
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Contestant Daz has defeated her master, Tom Carney to advance to level 2 after 4 days!!
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Contender Ryja has defeated his master, Tiffny Figg to advance to level 5 after 4 days!!
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Kamilah has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Trouser Snake.
Kamilah and a KittyMorph compare wounds on the FailBoat. "Got this one from a Panthzer," the KittyMorph remarks, gesturing to a horrific gash in her side. "What's yours from?" "Oh, this?" Kamilah says, glancing nervously sideways. "Uh, it was... uh... ..a ragged cuffs, you know..." The KittyMorph stares. "Oh," she says. "Well, that's um. ..That happens, you know," she says, trying to be polite.
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Ched has defeated his master, Emma Blackman to advance to level 9 after 34 days!!
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Kamilah has been defeated in the jungle by Potted Plant.
Screens in The Watcher's office replay Kamilah tumbling wide-eyed onto her arse before a Potted Plant. Blood spatters several cameras as the Potted Plant pounces. She sighs.
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Jessica Winterground has defeated her master, Effie to advance to level 13 after 36 days!!
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roak garn has challenged their master, Tom Carney and lost!
A Tom Carney merrily skips rope on roak garn's bloodied chest before fleeing as another contestant approaches.
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roak garn was hunted down by their master, Tom Carney, for being truant.
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Contender qwertz has challenged their master, Vitoleone and lost!
Victoria Badcrumble, an ancient schoolteacher with pendulous breasts and a pinched mouth, looks up from a pile of ungraded spelling tests as Improbable Island comes back from commercial. "Contender qwertz!" she exclaims. "Wretched little snot, I always knew he'd come to no good."
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Contender qwertz was hunted down by their master, Vitoleone, for being truant.
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Finally Werns has defeated his master, ADDIE to advance to level 7 after 150 days!!
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Finally Werns has defeated his master, Amir to advance to level 6 after 150 days!!
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Finally Werns was hunted down by their master, Amir, for being truant.
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Walter Gray has defeated his master, Effie to advance to level 13 after 53 days!!
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Master Sergeant Eleonora has defeated her master, Tom Carney to advance to level 2 after 1 day!!
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Cousin Eliza has been defeated in the jungle by Advertising.
Cousin Eliza coughs as she picks bits of broken Leather Trenchcoat from a puncture wound. A camera zooms in for a testimonial. Cousin Eliza curls her lip and sardonically obliges, "Yeah, uh, that... that could've gone a lot better. Than it did. Just now. That epic defeat I just took part in." Cousin Eliza sighs and shakes her head. "...yeah. Not a good day."
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Eleonora has earned the title Master Sergeant for having destroyed the Improbability Drive 11 times!
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Technical Sergeant Eleonora has destroyed the Improbability Drive. The shockwave was felt, and celebrated, all across the island!
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Jessica Winterground has defeated her master, Devvo to advance to level 12 after 35 days!!
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griffy has been defeated in the jungle by Lion.
Several cameras zoom in on griffy for a panoramic view of her arse as she's dumped on the deck of the FailBoat.
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Technical Sergeant Eleonora has defeated her master, Anne Bassett to advance to level 15 after 13 days!!
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Node has been defeated in the jungle by NewHome Song.
A Mutant crouched over her campfire yelps and reels backward as a NewHome Song bursts from the underbrush. The NewHome Song snarls and shakes Node from side to side by her Assault Suit before it explodes in a shower of batteries. The Mutant screams. Node groans.
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johnnny has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by The Deck.
Two children play in front of the telly as Improbable Island goes to commercial. "You be johnnny and I'll be the The Deck," the older one declares. The younger screws up his face. "Mooom," he calls, nasal, "Paul's making me be stupid johnnny
again and I always have to be johnnny!"
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Node has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
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johnnny has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Your Secret Crush on The Watcher.
A Network intern carefully splices footage of johnnny together for a Greatest Clips special -- johnnny trapped in the stocks and being lashed with a Budget Horse Tail, johnnny thrashing hip-deep in the Skronky Pot, johnnny weeping helplessly before a Your Secret Crush on The Watcher...
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Node has been defeated in the jungle by Octophant.
A camera zooms in on Node as she sways on her feet, bleeding freely. "I think," she says, "I am beginning to rethink the wisdom of this Rank."
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jerzor has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
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jerzor has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Trouser Snake.
"Now, Hippy Poncho is a real powerhouse for a contestant of your calibre," Sheila says to a customer. "Beautiful protection. You'll --" "Uh, 'scuse me," the contestant interrupts, "but didn't jerzor have one of these?" "Yes... why do you ask?" "Oh, nothing, just. Just, you know." The contestant lapses into awkward mumbling about Trouser Snakes and death, death and Trouser Snakes.
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johnnny has been defeated in the jungle by Towel-less Hitchhiker.
A Mutant perches on the railing of the FailBoat with a tattered journal. "O johnnny! Coruscating light of my iridescent loins, thy every defeat sends a shiver unto me with the variegated sheen of limpid petrol..."
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jerzor has been defeated in the jungle by Your Bar Tab.
"The thing about failure" says The Watcher thoughtfully, "is that it happens to you when you least expect it. Or all the time, whatever."
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Dorian Eros has been defeated in the jungle by Velociraptor.
Hundreds of fluttering National Geographics cluster around the mangled body of Dorian Eros in a peaceful jungle clearing.
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griffy has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
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griffy has been defeated in the jungle by Favourite Childhood Teddybear.
A Human contestant throws a comradely arm around griffy's bruised shoulders. "Listen, sug," she says, "if you're havin' problems with Favourite Childhood Teddybears, of all things, you're in for a hell of a ride when you hunt down the Drive. Y'gotta practice with that Chainsaw of yours."
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johnnny has defeated his master, Felicia to advance to level 3 after 2 days!!
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jerzor has defeated his master, Felicia to advance to level 3 after 5 days!!
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Contender Ryja has defeated his master, Kouska to advance to level 4 after 3 days!!
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Dyre Burn has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by The Walrus.
Dyre Burn lands on his arse on the FailBoat. Picking hisself up, he proceeds deliberately and calmly to the railing, where he takes a deep breath. "GODDAMNED BONCE-LICKING NANNY CUDDLER!" he screams before turning away. Nearby contestants shrink back.
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Dyre Burn has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Random Contestant.
Dyre Burn peeks from behind his fingers as a Random Contestant viciously shakes his Nudity. "That's.. that's new -- no! No, don't do --" The Random Contestant drops the Nudity and snatches for Dyre Burn's Sock full of Marbles. There's an audible crunch as the Sock full of Marbles disappears into the Random Contestant's Improbable maw. "That," he says, slumping.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Dyre Burn has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Warlike Ws.
The Watcher checks Dyre Burn's pulse and shakes her head. "Bloody bunch of incompetents, all of them."
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Dyre Burn has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Health and Safety Inspector.
"If I had a cigarette for every time a Health and Safety Inspector knocked me out with its citations," Dyre Burn groans before he spits out a tooth.
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Dyre Burn has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Paradox.
Dyre Burn coughs as he picks bits of broken Nudity from a puncture wound. A camera zooms in for a testimonial. Dyre Burn curls his lip and sardonically obliges, "Yeah, uh, that... that could've gone a lot better. Than it did. Just now. That epic defeat I just took part in." Dyre Burn sighs and shakes his head. "...yeah. Not a good day."
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Dyre Burn has been defeated in the jungle by Invisible Monster.
Later, leaning in the parlour doorway, Julia will make come-hither eyes at Dyre Burn in Squat Hole. Dyre Burn will perk up and his step will bounce a little higher, flattered, as he hurries over. Then Julia will pause, expression changing. "Oh," she'll say. "Y're th'one tha' got trounced by a Invisible Monster, innitchee. No, no. Y'll be bad for business, mate. Gerroff wi' yin."
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Contender Ryja has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
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Contender Ryja encountered strange powers in the jungle, and was not seen again.
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Returning Contestant Zaff has defeated her master, Felicia to advance to level 3 after 2 days!!
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Returning Contestant Zaff was hunted down by their master, Felicia, for being truant.
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Dyre Burn has challenged their master, Tom Carney and lost!
Victoria Badcrumble, an ancient schoolteacher with pendulous breasts and a pinched mouth, looks up from a pile of ungraded spelling tests as Improbable Island comes back from commercial. " Dyre Burn!" she exclaims. "Wretched little snot, I always knew he'd come to no good."
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Dyre Burn was hunted down by their master, Tom Carney, for being truant.
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jerzor has challenged their master, Felicia and lost!
Tomorrow's Enquirer headline reads LOCAL MONSTER IN CRITICAL CONDITION AFTER ASSAULT BY RAMPAGING CONTESTANT: Network Officials advise Felicias to be on the look-out for jerzor, full story on B12.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Bountyhunter Jack Ranch has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
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Current game time:
4:16 pm

Next Game Day in:
1h, 17m, 13s

Newest Player:
Omalleh

Online Characters (18 players):
Major General gen
Vahelle
Dennime the GREAT
Tsera
Unnotsensibible Escemfer
The Epilogue of Algus Wigs
Finally Werns
Bountyhunter Jack Ranch
Luigi
Devon Ross
Sanxo
Mango
Contestant Daz
Flustered Flipwit, Lysanne
Your imagination
Joya
roak garn
Omalleh




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Game Design and Code: Copyright © 2002-2005, Eric Stevens & JT Traub, © 2006-2007, Dragonprime Development Team
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