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Word on the Streets

Public service reminders
Admin CavemanJoe2015-05-07 04:53:53
It's summer! If you have a laptop, it's time to clean the CPU fan and heatsink. If you search for your laptop's model number in YouTube, you'll find videos on how to disassemble it and clean the fan. This is an important thing that you should definitely do, and on most laptop models it's really not too terribly difficult. Cleaning the cooling fan and heatsink fins will extend the life of your machine, and prevent it from burning LLED or YNOS onto your thighs the next time you're wearing shorts.

Second reminder, it's the general election today, so go vote. I guess. I know it's slim pickings this time around and we're all pretty disillusioned, but if you can't find a party inoffensive enough to vote for, try to find one to vote against.

I'll be back with some cool new shit for you guys to play with pretty soon. Got some neato things in the works.

Have fun!

-CMJ


News since the last new Game Day (Items 1 - 50 of 234)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Civilian Phaelious has challenged their master, Clairvius and lost!
A Clairvius limps home to its mate and little baby Clairviuss, waving off their concerns. "No," it says in its booming Clairvius voice, "let me tell you about the horrid creature I fought. A Civilian Phaelious -- sniveling, slinking, thirteen feet long, with flaccid, gummy, pulsating loathing in place of a soul..."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Civilian Phaelious was hunted down by their master, Clairvius, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Aoyuki and Seth were seen heading up the stairs in the inn together.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant DWSage has challenged their master, Tom Carney and lost!
Victoria Badcrumble, an ancient schoolteacher with pendulous breasts and a pinched mouth, looks up from a pile of ungraded spelling tests as Improbable Island comes back from commercial. "Contestant DWSage!" she exclaims. "Wretched little snot, I always knew he'd come to no good."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Skeith has challenged their master, Felicia and lost!
"The next time I find a Felicia, do you know what I'm going to do to it?" Skeith raves as he is dragged into a FailBoat-bound rowboat. "I'm going to stuff it full of Improbability Bombs and beat it to death with its own goddamn rotting fists!"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Jacko has defeated his master, Clairvius to advance to level 10 after 39 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Captain Draeyoc has defeated his master, Will Thompson to advance to level 8 after 50 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
PollyKarpik has earned the title Major Badass for having destroyed the Improbability Drive 25 times!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Improbable General PollyKarpik has destroyed the Improbability Drive. The shockwave was felt, and celebrated, all across the island!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
First Sergeant Sweets has defeated her master, Kouska to advance to level 4 after 3 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Improbable General PollyKarpik has defeated her master, Anne Bassett to advance to level 15 after 13 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Riku has defeated her master, Amir to advance to level 6 after 10 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Improbable General PollyKarpik has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
First Sergeant Sweets has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Improbable General PollyKarpik encountered strange powers in the jungle, and was not seen again.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
First Sergeant Sweets has been defeated in the jungle by Gold Farming Bot.
"Yikes" says The Watcher. "That broken terms and conditions really did a number on poor First Sergeant Sweets."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Improbable General PollyKarpik has defeated her master, Reventlov to advance to level 14 after 13 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Wolfgang has defeated his master, Tom Carney to advance to level 2 after 2 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Aleister has been defeated in the jungle by Well-Meaning Moron.
A Mutant perches on the railing of the FailBoat with a tattered journal. "O Aleister! Coruscating light of my iridescent loins, thy every defeat sends a shiver unto me with the variegated sheen of limpid petrol..."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Whirling Ball of Knives Jerome the Niblet Boy has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Whirling Ball of Knives Jerome the Niblet Boy has been defeated in the jungle by Bad Hair Day.
"Cor, Trev, you think that's real?" A Bad Hair Day sends Whirling Ball of Knives Jerome the Niblet Boy's Double-Barrelled Cat Launcher flying. The camera zooms in on his well, shit expression. "It's effects. They all die, they all come back. Look. Bastard can't even act." The Bad Hair Day drags Whirling Ball of Knives Jerome the Niblet Boy out of the frame by his ankle as he screams. Trev takes a doubtful sip of lager. "Dunno, man. Dunno."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Not too Clever Jenkins has been defeated in the jungle by Elite Drunken Nudist.
A Elite Drunken Nudist merrily skips rope on Not too Clever Jenkins's bloodied chest before fleeing as another contestant approaches.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Aleister has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Aleister has been defeated in the jungle by Puppy.
Aleister whoops, punchdrunk, as he staggers out of an impact crater. "No!" he shouts after a retreating Puppy, "that was effin ace! Bloody brilliant! Come back, I want you to hit me in the face again with your licks and yapping, I LIKED IT! Needle-licker!"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Kerrik has been defeated in the jungle by Whining Old-School Gamer.
A troop of baby Whining Old-School Gamers gambol and frolic around Kerrik's partially eviscerated body. Unhappily for him, he is still quite conscious. "This is just brilliant," he groans through hazy pain and excited chirrups. "Effin' brilliant."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Kerrik has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Warforged Kemaro has been defeated in the wild by Diplomat.
"Now, Invisisuit is a real powerhouse for a contestant of your calibre," Sheila says to a customer. "Beautiful protection. You'll --" "Uh, 'scuse me," the contestant interrupts, "but didn't Warforged Kemaro have one of these?" "Yes... why do you ask?" "Oh, nothing, just. Just, you know." The contestant lapses into awkward mumbling about Diplomats and death, death and Diplomats.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Kerrik has been defeated in the jungle by Poultrygeist.
Two Retraining Officers tote Kerrik along by his wrists and ankles. "I figger Maiko needs new demo meat, yeah?" one asks. The other grins and lets go of one of Kerrik's arms to mime a captive bolt gun being fired. "Ka-CHONGK! Hurr hurr hurr hurr."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
A Much Shorter William Door has challenged their master, Felicia and lost!
"Duuuude," a university student remarks, folded crosslegged on the couch. She sighs smoke. "If I had... an effin'... Fists, I would totally like... rend righteous Felicia arse. I should be on this show."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Lance Corporal Gast has defeated her master, Vitoleone to advance to level 11 after 28 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
First Sergeant Sweets has defeated her master, Felicia to advance to level 3 after 2 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Aleister has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Badass Meae has been defeated in the jungle by Disney Historical Accuracy Department.
Failors drag Badass Meae along as her head bounces off of a series of small, brightly colored rocks. "This one again?" "Reckon she misses yer smilin' mug, Jervis."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Aleister has been defeated in the jungle by The Other Side of the Coin.
"Look at the way that silly contestant handles his Screwdriver," laughs The Watcher. "I've seen milkmen fight better than that!"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Aoyuki has challenged their master, ADDIE and lost!
Several cameras zoom in on Contestant Aoyuki for a panoramic view of her arse as she's dumped on the deck of the FailBoat.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Civilian Clint Southtree has been defeated in the jungle by Squat from the Train Station.
A Mutant perches on the railing of the FailBoat with a tattered journal. "O Civilian Clint Southtree! Coruscating light of my iridescent loins, thy every defeat sends a shiver unto me with the variegated sheen of limpid petrol..."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Aoyuki was hunted down by their master, ADDIE, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Brownie has earned the title Returning Contestant for having destroyed the Improbability Drive 2 times!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Brownie has destroyed the Improbability Drive. The shockwave was felt, and celebrated, all across the island!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Kerrik has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Improbable General PollyKarpik has defeated her master, Effie to advance to level 13 after 12 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Brownie has defeated her master, Anne Bassett to advance to level 15 after 58 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Kerrik has been defeated in the jungle by Enchanted Stewpot.
A Enchanted Stewpot holds up a carved piece of wood by Kerrik's head. "Would it look better on oak, do you think? Or cherry?"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Nostril has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Unathana has been defeated in the jungle by Winged Pistachio.
A Winged Pistachio limps home to its mate and little baby Winged Pistachios, waving off their concerns. "No," it says in its booming Winged Pistachio voice, "let me tell you about the horrid creature I fought. A Unathana -- sniveling, slinking, thirteen feet long, with flaccid, gummy, pulsating loathing in place of a soul..."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Improbable General PollyKarpik has defeated her master, Devvo to advance to level 12 after 12 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
SunStripes has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by A Beehive.
A Human contestant throws a comradely arm around SunStripes's bruised shoulders. "Listen, sug," she says, "if you're havin' problems with A Beehives, of all things, you're in for a hell of a ride when you hunt down the Drive. Y'gotta practice with that Butter Knife of yours."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
SunStripes has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by The Deck.
SunStripes sprawls unconscious on his back -- eyes shut, cheeks and forehead glistening, and jaw just slightly slack. Two Squats stand very close, rolling phlegm in their throats before they spit. There's a moist plop and one Squat tosses up his stubby arms. "Fookin' told yer, dint I!" SunStripes grimaces and swallows reflexively. Both Squats jeer gleefully.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Unathana has defeated her master, Kouska to advance to level 4 after 21 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Improbable General PollyKarpik has defeated her master, Vitoleone to advance to level 11 after 12 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Current game time:
9:31 pm

Next Game Day in:
0h, 24m, 48s

Online Characters (100 players):
Contestant Vad
Emily Hart
Milo James
Contender Telum Cruor
Wild Weaver Flarehawk
Lost in Jack Smythe
Unseeing Eyes Zackary
dirk burtt
Ebenezer
Spinner Damara
Jest Joking, Kage C
Mountain Man Frosty
Contestant Raining
The Evil Bunny
Vermis
Transcendent Grand Lord Elevated Badass of the Gods Rucin
Locust Crop Fish
Rime
The Dastardly Genteel RP Whistle
Fi Dallows
Brand New Macy Wolff
Lance Corporal Gast
Jacko
Full of Grace, Lena
Big Momma Shayde
Warforged Kemaro
Gunslinger Kaiaku
Wandering Mage Jericho Rukatin
Civilian Phaelious
Parsen
The Photographer
Caroline Taylor
The twins
Lylia
Civilian Chickpea
Neo is Something in Latin
Hazel-Rah
Pained Sally Slivel
Gods This Hurts Seraphim
Devon Ross
A Slightly Withdrawn Jake the Boxer
Thundergate
Buttonhole Thige
Patric
Eliza
Aleister
Contestant Aoyuki
Contestant Riku
Abom
Inuya Shuron
Elan vital Harlan Fenn
Crandros
Stone Cold Sturdy Nathaniel
Black Cat Lilithine
Class Is In! Babochka
Narrative Praco
Heart Beat Heat Seraph Viralis
Unathana
Tucker
Returning Contestant Trevor
Captain James (Jim) Marrins
Wendy
Oh, the Godzillaity Eggbert
Contender PAGE
Curious Carnia
Biting WindRapier
Fifty Shades of Meenos
100% Human Riagon
Charlotte Aristide
Blackjack Jack Smythe
Starling
It was I who
It's Just Clayton
Wolfgang
The Fox
Solis
Skeith
Sinister Healer Adelaide Enole
Stark Raven Maddie
Wife of the Wife ClarineTina
Smoldering Embers Tabitha Correll
Junebug
Meara
Bad Idea Generator Cretunkulous Shnunk
Bad Kitty Hawk
The Shnuck
Warborn Naimad
Major Badass PollyKarpik
Geminus, Mrs. Sorrell
Contestant DWSage
Other of the Bride Claritina
Gabrielle
Killer Kew
Pale Shade of Zoo
Smoke and Trees Luna
dark knight
Fresh
Pansy Sniffer Tamar
Vixilian Mistofelees
Returning Contestant Brownie




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Creative Commons License This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
Game Design and Code: Copyright © 2002-2005, Eric Stevens & JT Traub, © 2006-2007, Dragonprime Development Team
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