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Word on the Streets

Server Migration
Admin CavemanJoe2017-05-20 16:57:25
Hello Islanders! We've been on the same dedicated server since late 2009, and we've thoroughly outgrown it. This weekend we'll be packing our bags, saying a final tearful farewell, promising to write, and moving to a fancy new machine ten feet down the hall.

I'll be performing the changeover on Saturday morning EDT, the 27th of May, a week from today. Due to timezone differences, the changeover will probably begin mid-afternoon UTC. Throughout the process, the Island and the Enquirer will be down.

You can get updates on the process by following our Mastodon account at https://mastodon.social/@ImprobableIsland. If there's important news, it'll get crossposted to our Twitter account at https://twitter.com/improbableislnd, or our Facebook page. After the move is complete, we'll no longer be using our Twitter account.

(I mean, I know we already don't use it. We'll just be making it official.)

It'll take all afternoon to transfer player data to the new machine. Improbable Island's database weighs 1.6 gigabytes.

Now, I know we're all used to massive files by now, what with the video and music and pictures and bells and whistles of the modern digital age. A film on DVD is like nine gigs, you might look at 1.6 gigs and think "yeah, big deal" - but we're talking 1.6 gigabytes of plain text, here. Places descriptions, chat, Distractions, Mementos, bios, that sort of thing. Yes, there's some overhead in prerendered output, item definitions and what-have-you, but the lion's share is stuff that you lot have typed out.

Between the lot of you, you've written the equivalent of about a thousand copies of The Fellowship Of The Ring - and that's not counting anything in the Enquirer!

So, it's going to take a little while to re-establish the database, put each sentence or paragraph or novel into its proper slot, and instruct the new electric pixies where to find it and whatnot. I've done a couple of dry runs and it usually takes a couple of hours. We'll bring the game back online first, and work on the Enquirer after it becomes clear that nothing broke when we transferred the game.

After the move is complete, DNS servers will need to cache Improbable Island's new IP address before requests to improbableisland.com get routed to the new server. In theory this can take up to three days, but in practice it's usually a couple of hours depending on your ISP.

When we're back, we'll be faster than ever, and we'll be serving pages over HTTPS for extra security.

Thanks for your patience throughout this whole process. By the way, Nerv is now crawling and saying dada. Don't worry, I'll keep her away from the dev machine.

~CMJ


News since the last new Game Day (Items 1 - 50 of 65)
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Colonel Catriona has defeated her master, Reventlov to advance to level 14 after 9 days!!
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Colonel Catriona was hunted down by their master, Reventlov, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Gingerbread has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Gingerbread has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Garden Rake.
Two KittyMorphs stand over Contestant Gingerbread's bloody, recently nibbled body. "Good thing we're vegetarians," one remarks. The other nods fervently. "Mmhm," he says, drawing his frying pan from his backpack.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Gingerbread has been defeated in the jungle by Deadly Ultraviolent Catastrophe.
A band of Squats go scuttling by with Contestant Gingerbread's limp body held inches above their tiny, dandruff-riddled heads.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CloudySky has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Colonel Catriona has defeated her master, Effie to advance to level 13 after 9 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Colonel Catriona was hunted down by their master, Effie, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CloudySky has been defeated in the jungle by The Guy Who Couldn't Beat Tom Carney.
"I paid how much for my Nudity?" CloudySky groans as a squadron of hand vacuums pass by overhead, flying in fight formation.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CloudySky has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CloudySky has been defeated in the jungle by SpiderKitty.
"Pfft," says The Watcher. "Is nobody equipped to take out that damned Improbability Drive?"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Stilt has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The Never ReDead has defeated his master, Anne Bassett to advance to level 15 after 49 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The Never ReDead has defeated his master, Reventlov to advance to level 14 after 49 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The Never ReDead was hunted down by their master, Reventlov, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Stilt has been defeated in the jungle by Garden Rake.
"Pfft," says The Watcher. "Is nobody equipped to take out that damned Improbability Drive?"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Improbable General Kalumniatoris has been defeated in the jungle by British Bedstead Man.
Marie Cruplebottom, president of the local Improbable General Kalumniatoris
Fancier Association, peeps from behind a pillow and a bowl of popcorn. "No, no, no, no -- ohhh, no, please don't -- please don't cry, oh, I would save you if I could, I'm sorry Improbable General Kalumniatoris snoogums..."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Stilt has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Stilt has been defeated in the jungle by Rat Pack.
A Human contestant throws a comradely arm around Contestant Stilt's bruised shoulders. "Listen, sug," she says, "if you're havin' problems with Rat Packs, of all things, you're in for a hell of a ride when you hunt down the Drive. Y'gotta practice with that Fists of yours."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CloudySky has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Malplenan has challenged their master, Felicia and lost!
Two Retraining Officers tote Malplenan along by his wrists and ankles. "I figger Maiko needs new demo meat, yeah?" one asks. The other grins and lets go of one of Malplenan's arms to mime a captive bolt gun being fired. "Ka-CHONGK! Hurr hurr hurr hurr."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Malplenan was hunted down by their master, Felicia, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Mistalee has challenged their master, Tom Carney and lost!
A troop of baby Tom Carneys gambol and frolic around Mistalee's partially eviscerated body. Unhappily for her, she is still quite conscious. "This is just brilliant," she groans through hazy pain and excited chirrups. "Effin' brilliant."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt has earned the title Contestant for having defeated the Improbability Drive 1 time!
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Contestant Blanche has defeated her master, Clairvius to advance to level 10 after 25 days!!
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Contestant Blanche was hunted down by their master, Clairvius, for being truant.
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Stilt has destroyed the Improbability Drive. The shockwave was felt, and celebrated, all across the island!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt was utterly defeated and rendered rather crispy when he decided to take on the Improbability Drive!
A Mutant sits with Stilt on the FailBoat. He gazes at him for inspiration, then writes, reading aloud, "The lurid wash of unexpected defeat tenderly caresses my sphincter with the gnarled monkey's paw of... no, I suppose that doesn't scan, does it."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CloudySky has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Anti-Busker.
A Anti-Busker smugly cruises by, dragging with it Stilt's battered and bloodied Invisisuit. Stilt himself is nowhere to be seen.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Malplenan has challenged their master, Felicia and lost!
"In my esteemed OPINION, certain SHRINKING DAISIES should return to NEWHOME for a REFRESHER COURSE if they find their good self UNDULY TAXED by a MERE Felicia," Corporal Punishment roars, spittle flying.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt was utterly defeated and rendered rather crispy when he decided to take on the Improbability Drive!
Two Retraining Officers tote Stilt along by his wrists and ankles. "I figger Maiko needs new demo meat, yeah?" one asks. The other grins and lets go of one of Stilt's arms to mime a captive bolt gun being fired. "Ka-CHONGK! Hurr hurr hurr hurr."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Malplenan was hunted down by their master, Felicia, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CloudySky was last seen aboard a small boat.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt heroically decided to take on The Improbability Drive with cheers of encouragement from his peers ringing in his ears.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CloudySky has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Brigadier Tarot encountered strange powers in the jungle, and was not seen again.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CloudySky has been defeated in the jungle by Admiral Flufferson.
"Shoo! Hsst! Scat!" CloudySky weakly urges the KittyMorph rolling on her sucking chest wound.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Gingerbread has challenged their master, Vitoleone and lost!
A troop of baby Vitoleones gambol and frolic around Contestant Gingerbread's partially eviscerated body. Unhappily for him, he is still quite conscious. "This is just brilliant," he groans through hazy pain and excited chirrups. "Effin' brilliant."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Your Present Self.
A troop of baby Your Present Selfs gambol and frolic around Stilt's partially eviscerated body. Unhappily for him, he is still quite conscious. "This is just brilliant," he groans through hazy pain and excited chirrups. "Effin' brilliant."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Anti-Busker.
"Cor, Trev, you think that's real?" A Anti-Busker sends Stilt's Chainsaw flying. The camera zooms in on his well, shit expression. "It's effects. They all die, they all come back. Look. Bastard can't even act." The Anti-Busker drags Stilt out of the frame by his ankle as he screams. Trev takes a doubtful sip of lager. "Dunno, man. Dunno."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Maxwell's Demon.
Tomorrow's Enquirer headline reads LOCAL MONSTER IN CRITICAL CONDITION AFTER ASSAULT BY RAMPAGING CONTESTANT: Network Officials advise Maxwell's Demons to be on the look-out for Stilt, full story on B12.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Paradox.
A Mutant crouched over her campfire yelps and reels backward as a Paradox bursts from the underbrush. The Paradox snarls and shakes Stilt from side to side by his Invisisuit before it explodes in a shower of batteries. The Mutant screams. Stilt groans.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CloudySky has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt was utterly defeated and rendered rather crispy when he decided to take on the Improbability Drive!
Corporal Punishment bellows, "And this is a SUPERLATIVE example of the ABSOLUTE WORST WAY to make the AC-QUAIN-TANCE of a The Improbability Drive!" He gestures to a picture of Stilt tumbled miserably on the ground. "Next SLIDE!"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CloudySky has been defeated in the jungle by Paper Tiger.
"Cor, Trev, you think that's real?" A Paper Tiger sends CloudySky's Meat Cleaver flying. The camera zooms in on her well, shit expression. "It's effects. They all die, they all come back. Look. Bastard can't even act." The Paper Tiger drags CloudySky out of the frame by her ankle as she screams. Trev takes a doubtful sip of lager. "Dunno, man. Dunno."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Stilt was utterly defeated and rendered rather crispy when he decided to take on the Improbability Drive!
Corporal Punishment bellows, "And this is a SUPERLATIVE example of the ABSOLUTE WORST WAY to make the AC-QUAIN-TANCE of a The Improbability Drive!" He gestures to a picture of Stilt tumbled miserably on the ground. "Next SLIDE!"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Current game time:
3:01 pm

Next Game Day in:
1h, 29m, 47s





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Creative Commons License This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
Game Design and Code: Copyright © 2002-2005, Eric Stevens & JT Traub, © 2006-2007, Dragonprime Development Team
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