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Word on the Streets

Who the fuck is Jimmy Crumbles?
Admin CavemanJoe2014-10-11 01:53:12
You might have noticed some stuff lying around in Outposts today. Things with ominous names like "Mister Fingers," or "Bumpy Frank," or "Twungle."

These things, my friends, are halloween candies!

Each Halloween Candy will give 5% Stamina and a very small, but very long, Attack and Defence multiplier. There are twenty different types of candy. Buffs from eating more than one of the same candy will cancel each other out as though you'd only eaten one, but buffs from eating different candies will multiply with themselves. The best thing to do is to eat lots of different types of candies!

Halloween Candies are available from the Hunter's Lodge. You get a bag of five random candies for a quarter. Or, you can buy a Candy Bomb, which you can set down in any Outpost and which will explode into many, many candies that anyone can then pick up.

Larger Candy Bombs have a chance to contain smaller Candy Bombs too, so you can have a cluster-bomb effect, drowning Outposts in a chain reaction of chocolate showers.

For example, a Gargantuan Candy Bomb costs ten bucks, spawns 200 pieces of candy, and has a chance to contain a Huge Candy Bomb, a Large Candy Bomb, and a normal-sized Candy Bomb. A Huge Candy Bomb can contain a Large and a Normal, and a Large can contain a Normal, so a lucky Gargantuan can cause a chain reaction of up to a dozen extra separate explosions. That releases quite a lot of candy.

Have fun!

-CMJ

(PS: please note that if you buy ten bloody Gargantuan Candy Bombs and set them off all at once in the same place, the server will grind to a sodding halt under a wave of chocolate. I had to sort that out earlier today, and I'll admit that as server meltdowns go, it was one of the funniest)

Edit:
For fuck's sake, guys... :P


News since the last new Game Day (Items 1 - 50 of 210)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Harris has been defeated in the jungle by Maxwell's Demon.
Harris peeks from behind his fingers as a Maxwell's Demon viciously shakes his Tuxedo. "That's.. that's new -- no! No, don't do --" The Maxwell's Demon drops the Tuxedo and snatches for Harris's Sun Gun. There's an audible crunch as the Sun Gun disappears into the Maxwell's Demon's Improbable maw. "That," he says, slumping.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Contestant Daikojun has defeated his master, Felicia to advance to level 3 after 5 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Harris has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Harris has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by A Beehive.
Harris sprawls unconscious on his back -- eyes shut, cheeks and forehead glistening, and jaw just slightly slack. Two Midgets stand very close, rolling phlegm in their throats before they spit. There's a moist plop and one Midget tosses up his stubby arms. "Fookin' told yer, dint I!" Harris grimaces and swallows reflexively. Both Midgets jeer gleefully.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
First Sergeant Narfler has defeated his master, Clairvius to advance to level 10 after 16 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Major Dukilu has defeated his master, Tiffny Figg to advance to level 5 after 11 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Major Dukilu has defeated his master, Kouska to advance to level 4 after 11 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Major Dukilu was hunted down by their master, Kouska, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Major Dukilu has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Faltering WindRapier has challenged their master, Felicia and lost!
Victoria Badcrumble, an ancient schoolteacher with pendulous breasts and a pinched mouth, looks up from a pile of ungraded spelling tests as Improbable Island comes back from commercial. "Faltering WindRapier!" she exclaims. "Wretched little snot, I always knew she'd come to no good."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Faltering WindRapier was hunted down by their master, Felicia, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Major Dukilu has been defeated in the jungle by Your Terrible Nickname.
"For tit's sake, it was just some Your Terrible Nickname," Major Dukilu snarls as he is apprehended by Retraining Officers.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Harris has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Random Contestant.
Two Retraining Officers unceremoniously heft Harris into the FailBoat, then chuck his Sun Gun after him. It thops off of his head and slides to the deck. "Man, that's the third time today!" "I know, right? It's like She wants 'em to drop out there. More work for us..."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Harris has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Maxwell's Demon.
A Mutant sits with Harris on the FailBoat. He gazes at him for inspiration, then writes, reading aloud, "The lurid wash of unexpected defeat tenderly caresses my sphincter with the gnarled monkey's paw of... no, I suppose that doesn't scan, does it."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Harris has been defeated in the jungle by That Cutie from Work.
A camera zooms in on Harris as he sways on his feet, bleeding freely. "I think," he says, "I am beginning to rethink the wisdom of this Rank."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Tominas has challenged their master, Tom Carney and lost!
Several cameras zoom in on Tominas for a panoramic view of his arse as he's dumped on the deck of the FailBoat.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Gorbert Vanhousserhoffen has been defeated in the wild by Guy Who Keeps Running Behind You Whenever You Turn.
A Mutant sits with Gorbert Vanhousserhoffen on the FailBoat. He gazes at him for inspiration, then writes, reading aloud, "The lurid wash of unexpected defeat tenderly caresses my sphincter with the gnarled monkey's paw of... no, I suppose that doesn't scan, does it."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Gorbert Vanhousserhoffen has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Gorbert Vanhousserhoffen has been defeated in the wild by Towel-less Hitchhiker.
Several cameras zoom in on Gorbert Vanhousserhoffen for a panoramic view of his arse as he's dumped on the deck of the FailBoat.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Gorbert Vanhousserhoffen has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Gorbert Vanhousserhoffen has been defeated in the jungle by Lame Ass.
"The FAIL is strong in this one," mutters The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Rat has been defeated in the wild by Cereal Killer.
"In my esteemed OPINION, certain SHRINKING DAISIES should return to NEWHOME for a REFRESHER COURSE if they find their good self UNDULY TAXED by a MERE Cereal Killer," Corporal Punishment roars, spittle flying.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
lowly outcast sonicchar has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
lowly outcast sonicchar has been defeated in the jungle by Hippopotamus.
A Mutant sits with lowly outcast sonicchar on the FailBoat. He gazes at him for inspiration, then writes, reading aloud, "The lurid wash of unexpected defeat tenderly caresses my sphincter with the gnarled monkey's paw of... no, I suppose that doesn't scan, does it."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
lowly outcast sonicchar has been defeated in the jungle by Poultrygeist.
A Mutant sits with lowly outcast sonicchar on the FailBoat. He gazes at him for inspiration, then writes, reading aloud, "The lurid wash of unexpected defeat tenderly caresses my sphincter with the gnarled monkey's paw of... no, I suppose that doesn't scan, does it."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Gorbert Vanhousserhoffen has defeated his master, Felicia to advance to level 3 after 6 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Gorbert Vanhousserhoffen has defeated his master, Tom Carney to advance to level 2 after 6 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Gorbert Vanhousserhoffen was hunted down by their master, Tom Carney, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
lowly outcast sonicchar has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
lowly outcast sonicchar has been defeated in the jungle by Tiny Meteorite.
"Cor, Trev, you think that's real?" A Tiny Meteorite sends lowly outcast sonicchar's Granny's Knitting Needles flying. The camera zooms in on his well, shit expression. "It's effects. They all die, they all come back. Look. Bastard can't even act." The Tiny Meteorite drags lowly outcast sonicchar out of the frame by his ankle as he screams. Trev takes a doubtful sip of lager. "Dunno, man. Dunno."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The Dastardly Genteel RP Whistle has defeated his master, Effie to advance to level 13 after 285 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The Dastardly Genteel RP Whistle was hunted down by their master, Effie, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The twins has been defeated in the Proving Grounds by Garden Rake.
"Look at the way that silly contestant handles her good intentions, supposedly," laughs The Watcher. "I've seen milkmen fight better than that!"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The twins has been defeated in the wild by London Omnibus.
A Human contestant throws a comradely arm around The twins's bruised shoulders. "Listen, sug," she says, "if you're havin' problems with London Omnibuss, of all things, you're in for a hell of a ride when you hunt down the Drive. Y'gotta practice with that good intentions, supposedly of yours."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Lance Corporal Neutrinobunny has defeated her master, Clairvius to advance to level 10 after 9 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Dante has defeated his master, Kouska to advance to level 4 after 23 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Lance Corporal Neutrinobunny has defeated her master, Emma Blackman to advance to level 9 after 9 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Lance Corporal Neutrinobunny was hunted down by their master, Emma Blackman, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
lowly outcast sonicchar has defeated his master, Tiffny Figg to advance to level 5 after 9 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Lieutenant General Weakling McSchmendrick has been defeated in the jungle by Octophant.
A camera zooms in on Lieutenant General Weakling McSchmendrick as he sways on his feet, bleeding freely. "I think," he says, "I am beginning to rethink the wisdom of this Rank."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Major Dukilu has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
shiv has been defeated in the wild by Passive-Aggressive Co-worker.
A Failor hoots and jeers as shiv passes by. "Oi darlin'! Oi! Lookit me, I'm th'mighty shiv
, got me arse handed to me by a Passive-Aggressive Co-worker!" He fixes him with a shit-eating grin. shiv stares coldly before stalking off.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Entity Svedka has defeated her master, Devvo to advance to level 12 after 1 day!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Major Dukilu has been defeated in the wild by [citation needed].
Major Dukilu claws desperately toward his Flail. "S- so much death," he breathes, bleeding marmalade.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Entity Svedka was hunted down by their master, Devvo, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Lance Corporal Csodas has defeated his master, Reventlov to advance to level 14 after 22 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Lance Corporal Csodas has defeated his master, Effie to advance to level 13 after 22 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Lance Corporal Csodas was hunted down by their master, Effie, for being truant.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Whirling Ball of Knives Jerome the Niblet Boy has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Whirling Ball of Knives Jerome the Niblet Boy has been defeated in the jungle by Thoughtless Litter.
"I think I see what the problem is," says The Watcher. "It's that you're failing too much. Fail less."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Current game time:
5:46 pm

Next Game Day in:
1h, 02m, 16s

Newest Player:
Loper

Online Characters (79 players):
Contestant Jaeger
Pale Maiden Seraphim
Sweet Tea Carlynne
Drop-Bear Wrangler Clarinetina
Back in Action Zuse
Sergeant Pheobe Elmfield
The Last Sa'Haden Jack Smythe
The Dastardly Genteel RP Whistle
Returning Contestant Waters
Soul Survivor Endarr
Dastardly Dorian Nightmist
Vir Nemo
Sundress Isabelle
Doc Sleep
Katie Troublefield
Grand Master Badass of Most Awesome Destruction Rucin
Kariah
Always listening Nolr
Just Aiki
The Researcher, Saiko
Sunny Little Songbird Rebecca Clearstream
Feathers of Flame Jock
Mercenary Aer
Contestant Redd Betsy
Effervescent Escemfer
Mad Science Rykar
Gentle Lady Elf
Kastril
Kaiaku
Contender Verel
Big Momma Shayde
Royale Badass Meara
Fenner
Returning Contestant Brawn
Zedalion
Xin
Harris
Asana
Werewolf Asha
lowly outcast sonicchar
Divided One dark knight
Geminus, Mrs. Sorrell
The Fretful Songstress
Truly Terrible Malverius
The twins
Dante
Citizen Silk
Blackjack Jack Smythe
Lieutenant Shiro Kuroyami
Contestant Daikojun
Witch AuRa
Faltering WindRapier
The Red Doglady Kelwine
Suvarestin
Pumpernickelsguy
The Evil Bunny
Doctor Gori
Crandros
Loper
Kau Solebarr
Tominas
fedo
Velaron
MikiNezumi
Relic
SilverExe
Isle child Praco
Infernal Isaac
Sugar Spice and Meenos
In a disapproving manner, Omega
Kyle Thompson
Balinor
Quick
High Steaks Activist Liliana
Kittycat
Not So Itsy Somati
Sweet Candy Lain
Stark Raven Maddie
Linky




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